bharatbhasha.com
Free Articles  >>  Psychology >>  Page 12  >> 

Emotional Expression An EQ Competency





Emotional Expression: An EQ Competency   by Susan Dunn, MA, Personal and Professional Development Coach


Expressing emotions accurately is an EQ competency. Experiencing them and expressing them when appropriate is a matter of mental and physical health. In fact there’s a phrase in psychology called “acting out,” which means if you don’t say it, you’re going to do it. You’ll act it out.

Are you acting out your emotions and sabotaging yourself instead of experiencing and dealing with them appropriately in a mindful way?

I have a friend who calls this, “acting in the grip of a strange compulsion.” Well, we needn’t be so dramatic about it, but did you ever find yourself acting strangely, knowing it’s not like you even as you’re doing it? Usually you’re doing something that doesn’t help your own cause, that you wouldn’t ordinarily do, and that you “know better than to do.” You surprise even yourself!

An example of this would be forgetting to pick up your wife’s laundry. Ordinarily you’re an organized and efficient person and this is part of your weekly routine. It’s not like you to forget to do it. Often if you think back, it can be traced to an emotion you didn’t acknowledge, express, or deal with appropriately. For instance you may have had a fight with your wife and failed to resolve it. The resentment lingers and if you aren’t mindful, you’ll forget to pick up her laundry as a way of getting back at her and expressing your anger.

Another example would be being criticized unfairly by your boss, failing to deal with your anger about it, and then failing to get a report in on time. Suddenly you can’t find the energy to do the work. The creativity to do the research leaves you, your fingers just won’t write the report, and every little thing distracts you from the task. Failing to get the report in on time sabotages you, which adds insult to injury. It’s the kind of thing you might do when you aren’t mindful.

In each case the healthy way of handling the emotions is different, but they must be dealt with or else they will find their own way of being expressed.

In intimate relationships, you’ll find you might as well go ahead and say it, because not saying it will damage the relationship more. Resentment will build up, old wounds will fester, and soon you will have made a mountain out of a mole hill. It’s much easier to deal with things right away, using your emotional intelligence – your communication and interpersonal skills.

In the career situation, you can’t count on the boss caring about how you feel, or being interested in a personal relationship with you, but you do have a right to be treated with respect. You must be attuned to what you’re feeling and stand up for yourself in a professional manner, or find somewhere else to work if you care about your health. And one of the first things I caution someone who comes to me for career coaching because they’re dissatisfied with their job, is to get very mindful. Otherwise, it’s likely you’ll end up getting yourself fired to get yourself out of there. It happens all the time and there’s a much more gracious way to make your exit.

Emotional Intelligence is all about being mindful. If we experience our emotions and pay attention to them, they can guide us. If we express our emotions appropriately and accurately, we can address a situation before it becomes an issue. If we ignore our emotions, bury them, or fail to listen to their message, we lose a guide and we also a sense of ourselves. It has been said “we are our emotions” because without emotions we would all be alike and all like machines. There would be no reason for choosing one thing over another, no reason for doing one thing rather than another. If we are our emotions, we are also our choices, and our choices often revolve around emotions.

Studying Emotional Intelligence can greatly enrich your life and should be given at least as much attention as your intellectual and academic education. Unfortunately it has been ignored in our formal educations, and its up to us to close the gap. Certified Emotional Intelligence coaches can help you assess your EQ and develop it. The benefits will be all yours.

About Author Susan Dunn :

©Susan Dunn, MA, The EQ Coach, http://www.susandunn.cc . Coaching, distance learning, and ebooks around emotional intelligence for your continued personal and professional development. I train and certify EQ coaches. Get in this field, dubbed “white hot” by the press, now, before it’s crowded, and offer your clients something of exceptional value. Start tomorrow, no residence requirement. Mailto:sdunn@susandunn.cc for free ezine.


Article Source: https://www.bharatbhasha.com
Article Url: https://www.bharatbhasha.com/psychology.php/21991

LD
Other Articles by Susan Dunn

Emotional Intelligence and ACAs Adult Children of Alcoholics
Emotional Intelligence and ACAs (Adult Children of Alcoholics)   by Susan Dunn, MA, Emotional Intelligence Coach and ConsultantEveryone in the alcoholic's family suffers effects from the disease. Typically everyone involved in the life of the alcoholic and dysfunctional family has low or no emotional intelligence. They don't know what they think or feel, and don’t think they have a right to. Many of the challenges facing Adult Children of Alcoholics (ACAs) can be addressed by developing...

What Are You Going to Inoculate Yourself Against in 2004
?   by Susan Dunn, MA, cEQc, The Emotional Intelligence Coach™ Ever wonder why there’s a new flu vaccine every year? That’s because the flu virus mutates a little every year, in order to infect us better, and we have to come up with a new vaccine to keep ahead of the game. The virus keeps evolving so it can do us in, and we keep trying to find new ways to combat it. There is no such thing as a permanent “flu” vaccine, and there never will be. Getting the vaccine makes us resistant to that...

But How Can I USE Emotional Intelligence
But How Can I USE Emotional Intelligence?   by Susan Dunn, MA, Emotional Intelligence CoachI’m sure you’re hearing the term Emotional Intelligence. It’s being talked about a lot these days. For most people there’s an immediate “click”. We recognize it as the missing piece! It’s like that cartoon of the girl saying, “Oh, I knew I forgot something. My career!” Well, in this case, we become aware that someone, somewhere along the line forgot to tell us how to be smart about our emotions. At least...

Olivia s 5 and Learning Emotional Intelligence
by Susan Dunn, The EQ CoachOlivia and I returned from going to the rodeo, and we’d been talking about going swimming. “That would be fun,” I said. “We’re hot and sticky. Let’s ask your Dad if you can.”When we got to the house, Olivia ran ahead of me. While I was talking to her Dad, she came running out in her swimsuit. “We’re going swimming!” she said, bouncing up and down, “We’re going swimming!”You can imagine what transpired. She’d been told she couldn’t go swimming, and had done an...

Managing Employees to Accelerate Learning Curve
   by Susan Dunn, MA, The EQ CoachIf constant change was the watchword for the last decade, constant RAPID change is the watchword for the 00s. If you’re a manager, you know that the faster the employee can learn a new skill, a new program, a new concept, or a new position, the less stress for you and the employee, the more successful the outcome, and the more positive the effect on the bottom line. The ability to change rapidly, be flexible and learn quickly are highly valued by today’s...

Ten Ways to Beat the Heat
   by Susan Dunn, THE EQ COACHIt's the dog days of summer (in the northern hemisphere) when the temperature goes up (and hasbeen up for a while) and tempers can flare. Learning to manage anger is an emotional intelligence competency and a process of personal awareness and growth.1. Understand the physiological process and how it effects you.It's called affective neuroscience, and you'll find it fascinating. Check it out! Take an EQ course that covers the basics (...

How to Get Along Better with Your Husband
   by Susan Dunn, MA Psychology, Emotional Intelligence CoachNothing can get as heated as an argument between a husband and wife, unless maybe it’s a parent and a teenager. Because these relationships are closely bonded and intense, we react strongly and emotions are far more “contagious” than between us and friends, or even colleagues. Haven’t you found this to be true?The first step in learning to get along better with your husband is to understand this strong emotional reaction to what’s...

11 Ways to Master Change
by Susan Dunn, MA, Emotional Intelligence Coach Change has become a constant for all of us, and not only do things change, they seem to change more rapidly all the time. How can you bolster your resilience to change and learn to manage it better? How can you keep “stress” from becoming “strain”? Here are some tips. 1. Label it immediately a transition.You are not lost in space (no longer a mother), nor at the end of the line (retirement), nor is it the end of the world (getting laid off). You...

Is It Possible to Have Too Much Emotional Intelligence
Is It Possible to Have Too Much Emotional Intelligence?   by Susan Dunn, M.A., The EQ CoachSomeone emailed me recently, Do you think it's possible to have too much emotional intelligence going on? To the point that perhaps logic takes a backseat?Good question. The fact is, we need both IQ and EQ. You can't have too much emotional intelligence, but that doesn't mean at the expense of logic.It's time to use logic, for instance, when figuring out a budget, or making a timeline for a project. Then...

A Zen Look at Dating amp Religious Beliefs
A Zen Look at Dating & Religious Beliefs   by Susan Dunn, MA, Emotional Intelligence CoachYou’re dating and your religious beliefs are different. How much difference does this make?The answer is: Another person’s religious beliefs are important to you to the degree they’re important to you. This may sound like begging the question, but it’s an important thing to ‘get’. Assuming you’re looking for marriage, you need to make a “must have” and “can’t stand” list. If certain religious beliefs go...

Click here to see More Articles by Susan Dunn
Publishers / Webmasters
Article ID: 21991
DELINK URL from Authors Bio
REMOVE Article
Tell A Friend
Leave A Comment!
Download this article in PDF
Report Article!
Search through all the articles:


198 Users Online !
Related Articles:
Latest Articles:
 
Psychology >> Top 50 Articles on Psychology
Category - >
Advertising Advice Affiliate Programs Automobiles
Be Your Own Mentor Careers Communication Consumers
CopyWriting Crime Domain Names DoT com Entrepreneur Corner
Ebooks Ecommerce Education Email
Entertainment Environment Family Finance And Business
Food & Drink Gardening Health & Fitness Hobbies
Home Business Home Improvement Humour House Holds
Internet And Computers Kiddos and Teens Legal Matters Mail Order
Management Marketing Marriage MetaPhysical
Motivational MultiMedia Multi Level Marketing NewsLetters
Pets Psychology Religion Parenting
Politics Sales Science Search Engine Optimization
Site Promotion Sports Technology Travel
Web Development Web Hosting WeightLoss Women's Corner
Writing Miscellaneous Articles Real Estate Arts And Crafts
Aging


Disclaimer: The information presented and opinions expressed in the articles are those of the authors
and do not necessarily represent the views of bharatbhasha.com and/or its owners.


Copyright © AwareINDIA. All rights reserved || Privacy Policy || Terms Of Use || Author Guidelines || Free Articles
FAQs Link To Us || Submit An Article || Free Downloads|| Contact Us || Site Map  || Advertise with Us ||
Click here for Special webhosting packages for visitors of this website only!
Vastu Shastra

Bulk Mailing Solution Provided By AwareIndia







Company IDS