bharatbhasha.com
Free Articles  >>  Family >>  Page 1012  >> 

Love and Intimacy





Who has not been befuddled by love and intimacy? Love and intimacy inspire huge industries, perfume, dating, publishing, movies, and marriage and family counselors have been honing their skills for decades.

I can imagine the first shaman was hired to work up a love spell or potion for a client, 40,000 years ago.

Love and intimacy are important parts of the human experience, so the researchers are researching, and lucky for us, there are now technologies available which allow for the most refined look ever at what the human brain does when it is in love and desiring intimacy. Is it possible to manage love and intimacy?

The researcher most linked with research of that nature currently is Helen Fisher,Ph.D. who has been working on that experience for some 30 odd years, and she has put some just in love brains, some just out of love brains, and some long time in love brains through the unflinching eye of a functional magnetic resonance imaging (fMRI) machine, and she has some ideas about what happens in the human brain, which might give us a chance to direct the love and intimacy experience.

Her most practical suggestion is that we have the best chance for successful romantic love, that early stage of love run by three reward systems in the brain, associated with three powerful hormones, dopamine, oxytocin, and the androgens, if we find a compatible personality type to have 'chemistry' with.

While the poets may argue against trying to bring some order to the usually chaotic mating dance, I believe there is something to be said for matching up with a compatible type.

Professor Fisher says that we can find out our type by taking a personality quiz at Chemistry, and if you want to meet some compatible types, then you need to join Chemistry.

Actually folks, the internet has changed how we do marriages in this country anyway. A huge number of couples are now meeting online, which leaves me wondering what the singles bars will do to stay in business.

Professor Fisher's research has indicated to her that we humans fall into four broad personality types, each associated with a hormone, and we will have a better chance for love and intimacy if we match up with a compatible type, which brings us to the work of Robert Epstein,Ph.D. who has written some interesting articles recently in Scientific American Mind, about love and intimacy in arranged marriages.

Professor Epstein notes that arranged marriages in India, arranged by parents and marriage brokers, with an eye to compatibility and sustainability last and grow in intimacy 95% of the time, compared to our western model which lasts 50% of the time.

Professor Epstein says that love and intimacy can be trained, that you need to do a love and intimacy

workout, if you will, and he offers a number of exercises that couples can do to grow closeness.

So can you imagine doing some 'soul gazing', two minutes of looking into your partners eyes, trying to see their soul?

Remember not to stare, which is a threatening non-verbal communication.

Professor Epstein uses this exercise in his class room, and the students participating report a stunning increase in the feeling of closeness after participating.

Professor Epstein also talks about another exercise, where couples work on synchronizing their heart beats, which I have actually done with couples, using a computerized heart rate variability biofeedback tool.

Using the heart rate variability biofeedback tool, it is possible for couples to actually see that their relationship has a heart beat and that heart beat is a very dynamic, alive, and important rhythm to attend to.

That heart beat becomes coherent (cooperative and affiliative) or incoherent (contest, winner and loser) in a heart beat, and couples can become aware of those changes in their love and intimacy heart beat and change back to coherence quickly.

What we learn from using heart rate variability biofeedback is that love and intimacy need to be tuned up heart beat by heart beat.

Doesn't sound possible? Well, how about attending to love and intimacy regularly, now that you know that your physiology can be adjusted heart beat by heart beat?

Love and intimacy definitely can be worked on much more often than just between fights, and if couples do that, they put what John Gottman,Ph.D., calls emotional money in the bank.

Gottman has studied couples for 30 years, teasing out what it is that the Masters of Marriage do that puts emotional money in the bank.

Turns out there are some parallels with what Epstein in particular argues for.

Gottman has put together a workshop called The Art and Science of Love, which consists of written and video exercises that couples can do together, and can repeat when needed, or maybe even like a workout.

So maybe you do not need to hire a shaman for a potion or a pill or a spell, you just need to practice some of the suggestions that Professors Epstein, Gottman, and Fisher make, to make some sense of the love and intimacy process.


About Author Michael Logan :

Michael S. Logan is a brain fitness expert, counselor, a student of Chi Gong, and a licensed one on one HeartMath provider. I enjoy the spiritual, the mythological, and psychological, and I am a late life father to Shane, 10, and Hannah Marie, 4, whose brains are so amazing. <a href="http://www.askmikethecounselor2.com" target="_blank">http://www.askmikethecounselor2.com</a>


Article Source: https://www.bharatbhasha.com
Article Url: https://www.bharatbhasha.com/family.php/244908


Article Added on Friday, July 9, 2010
LD
Other Articles by Michael Logan

Relationship Intimacy Heart Beat by Heart Beat
Good news on the relationship intimacy front. Robert Epstein,Ph.D. and John Gottman,Ph.D. and Helen Fisher,Ph.D. have made some very interesting discoveries about what we can do to increase relationship intimacy. Decreasing relationship intimacy is something we appear to need no research or guidance in. But Epstein has written just recently in Scientific American Mind about his studies of couples in India whose marriage is arranged. Those couples may have met once before their marriage...

Emotional Intimacy
Emotional intimacy is hard to define, but I think we all know when it is happening in a relationship. I feel pleasure/gratitude/happiness/contentment/desire, ect. when I think of my beloved, and the words in my thoughts reflect those feelings. When I feel distant/resentful/angry/hurt/contempt, ect. the words in my thoughts reflect those feelings. In the latter case, I often find myself including You, should, ought, which are blaming and accusatory in my self talk, or my thoughts if you...

Intimacy Relationships
Intimacy in relationshps can be learned and practiced, actually must be learned and practiced. Most of us in the purview of the Disney Studios or the Hefner/Guccione publishing realm have been taught that intimacy happens when the Fairy Godmother waves her magic wand, and then Prince Charming and Cinderella are off to the Caribbean for a vacation before they begin Happily Ever After. Robert Epstein,Ph.D., would disagree. He has posed some provocative questions about growing intimacy and...

What Does It Take to Make Successful Marriages
? What makes successful marriages? The Fairy Godmother helping you? The law of averages? Oxytocin spray? Aphrodisiacs? The PlayBoy advisor? I know I am dating myself with that reference, as I am not even sure their is a PlayBoy magazine anymore, but actually it is none of these things. Just ask Robert Expstein,Ph.D. or John Gottman,Ph.D. or Helen Fisher,Ph.D. Fisher has been studying romantic love, which we consumers would probably identify as that early love, and Professor Fisher has given...

Better Relationship Through Chemistry
Are you looking for home made better relationships? Any guidance available? As a domestic violence educator/counselor, which research or programs do I recommend? These days all kinds of relationships are getting a hard look, including dating and marital relationships, from the work of Helen Fisher,Ph.D., who has looked at just-in-love brains through the unflinching eye of the functional magnetic imaging machine (fMRI) to John Gottman,Ph.D., who has done in depth psychological and...

Courtship Marriage
There are a number of very interesting courtship marriage researchers and writers out there now. Since courtship usually comes before marriage, we can start there, with Helen Fisher's work. Helen Fisher,Ph.D., has used functional magnetic resonance imaging, or fMRI, to exam brains that have recently fallen in or out of love, and she has put together a brain based model of this experience that we call love. It turns out that three systems of the brain are activated in courtship, the lust,...

Making Relationships Work
There are some great models out there for making relationships work, and the most recent ideas that I have seen are from Robert Epstein,Ph.D., who has studied arranged marriages in India, which have a 5% divorce rate, when our model based on Prince Charming, Cinderella, and the intervention of the Fairy Godmother has a 50% divorce rate in first, second, and third iterations. What do those couples do that we can do, is the question Epstein asked. It turns out that those couples in India, who...

Infatuation vs Love
Infatuation vs love? Understanding the neurology of infatuation using Helen Fisher's research might just offer some choices in the course of a potentially life changing experience. And looking at recent research about love by Robert Epstein,Ph.D. and John Gottman,Ph.D., I think there is a great deal of hope for couples to deepen and enrich their experience of love. Maybe infatuation is brain based, and love is heart based? Can infatuation be be described as a function of the human brain?...

Beginning of Relationship
When is the beginning of a relationship? Well, Helen Fisher,Ph.D., has studied and written about romantic relationships for a long time, and her model brings some clarity to a process that is highly emotional for those of us in the throes of beginning of relationship. If your brain happens to be of the male persuasion, beginning or relationship is very definitely linked to your vision. You begin the mating dance chemically, inside your brain, when a stream photons are processed in the visual...

Relationship Expert
Can your relationships be enhanced by a relationship expert? What can a relationship expert teach you that you do not already know? Believe it or not, there are some discreet skills that a relationship expert can teach you that will make your connections to other human beings more effective, whether those are professional or romantic relationships. For example, Robert Epstein, Ph.D., Helen Fisher,Ph.D., and John Gottman,Ph.D. are researchers whose research I believe offers tremendous...

Click here to see More Articles by Michael Logan
Publishers / Webmasters
Article ID: 244908
DELINK URL from Authors Bio
REMOVE Article
Tell A Friend
Leave A Comment!
Download this article in PDF
Report Article!
Search through all the articles:


267 Users Online!!
Related Articles:
Latest Articles:
 
family >> Top 50 Articles on Family
Category - >
Advertising Advice Affiliate Programs Automobiles
Be Your Own Mentor Careers Communication Consumers
CopyWriting Crime Domain Names DoT com Entrepreneur Corner
Ebooks Ecommerce Education Email
Entertainment Environment Family Finance And Business
Food & Drink Gardening Health & Fitness Hobbies
Home Business Home Improvement Humour House Holds
Internet And Computers Kiddos and Teens Legal Matters Mail Order
Management Marketing Marriage MetaPhysical
Motivational MultiMedia Multi Level Marketing NewsLetters
Pets Psychology Religion Parenting
Politics Sales Science Search Engine Optimization
Site Promotion Sports Technology Travel
Web Development Web Hosting WeightLoss Women's Corner
Writing Miscellaneous Articles Real Estate Arts And Crafts
Aging


Disclaimer: The information presented and opinions expressed in the articles are those of the authors
and do not necessarily represent the views of bharatbhasha.com and/or its owners.


Copyright AwareINDIA. All rights reserved || Privacy Policy || Terms Of Use || Author Guidelines || Free Articles
FAQs Link To Us || Submit An Article || Free Downloads|| Contact Us || Site Map  || Advertise with Us ||
Click here for Special webhosting packages for visitors of this website only!
Vastu Shastra

Cheap Linux Web Hosting Provided By AwareIndia







Company IDS