| Top 50 Articles On Humour |
•Rindercella - The Pyslexic Drincess - Hits (1133) |
| ... pits and shivelling shot. At the end of the day she was knucking fackered. The sugly isters were right bugly astards. One was called Mary Hinge, and the other was called Betty Swallocks. They were real forrible huckers. They had featy sweet and featy swannies.The sugly isters had tockets to go... |
•WHAT'S IN A NAME? -- Odd Places in America - Hits (719) |
| ... has more than a few rather quaint placenames such as Bodmin, Grimbister, Ipswich, Nobottle, No Man's Land, Pie Corner, Pratt's Bottom, Scrabster and Twatt but, they pale in comparison to the plethora of picturesque placenames in the "New World". For those with precious little to do, why not... |
•Tennis Humor - The Gift Of Making People Laugh At The Game Of Tennis - Hits (699) |
| ... a winner. But take a step back or just start watching some tennis matches at your club and you'll begin to see the humorous situations that abound in our game. Of course, just like mother-in-law jokes are a staple of marriage humor, dysfunctional tennis dynamics are the source of most tennis... |
•I hate my computer and other inspirational thoughts - Hits (577) |
| ... wonderful winter, and don't forget to write.Speaking of writing, I can sum up my feelings at this moment by saying, "I hate my computer."Perhaps, you may think the word "hate" a little too strong. Under normal circumstances, I would agree wholeheartedly. These, however, are not normal... |
•MAKE 'EM LAUGH: SELLING HUMOR ONLINE - Hits (503) |
| ... products. These can make great businesses, but ifyou really want to stand out, maybe you should try something thatgives people a unique, fun, and always appreciated gift:laughter.People love people who make them laugh. We admire and rememberpeople who can inspire a good chuckle or full-out belly... |
•On Turning Sixty - Hits (372) |
| ... anymore—and that I can no longer write my name in the sand and must settle for my initials—I can still have lots of fun with it. Thanks to a prostate gland the Museum of Humongous Prostate Glands has already put in a bid for when I buy the farm, my urine stream now bifurcates at the exit point.... |
•PURSE PURSUIT - Hits (369) |
| ... till the straps fall off; so it's essential that I find exactly the RIGHT purse -- and that is no easy task. As a modern grandma on the go, I basically live in my car; so my purse must be a carry-all for everything I might need wherever I go. In my purse I carry a supply of every medication in... |
•My Blood Pressure Was Fine Throughout (The state of the NHS) - Hits (220) |
| ... a sudden, and, oh, heck, I seem to be spewing black blood down the pan. Hmmm. Not so good after all. Well, hmmm, uh, I guess, well, I know, I’ll just pretend that didn’t happen and maybe all will be ok. Well, actually, no, I ought to tell someone. So, when my sweetheart had got back from town... |
•BRING OUT YOUR INNER ROMEO & JULIET! - Hits (203) |
| ... an abiding interest in arcane topics like curious, odd, or downright postively playful placenames), and part-time errant carpet knight, (a left-over piece of Karma from a previous lifetime)Valentine’s Day is rolling around again. What would February 14th be without all those wretched little... |
•LEARN TO RECOGNIZE THE SOURCE OF ALL BLESSINGS - Hits (197) |
| ... with a red interior and beautiful cloth seats.My old car had so many glitches and problems I took it to a psychiatrist. Finally, I donated it to the local junkyard and put it out of my misery.At the time, a woman who attended our church lived four blocks away but insisted I pick her up for... |
•Pattaya Beach [Thailand] Dawn Freak Show - Pattaya Beach at sunrise is a great place for 'people watching' - Hits (193) |
| ... an unlimited variety of sights and sounds to experience there. If you enjoy just relaxing and doing some serious ‘people watching’, then without a doubt, this is the place for you! Let me tell you now, if you can imagine it, you can find it here.Once I was on a submarine cable laying job in... |
•Hollywood Humor: Cary Grant's Muffins - Hits (180) |
| ... the patrons complained they were cut too thick. An annoyed Crum decided to slice the delicacy razor thin to teach the customer a lesson. To his surprise the guest loved it, and that's how we got potato chips. Nearly one hundred years later another squeaky wheel named Cary Grant was having... |
•A Deep Look at Soap Operas - Hits (179) |
| ... for our high school paper. Watch a few soap operas for the next few days and see for yourself how closely they resemble soap operas 36 years ago… And now for that thought provoking question that plagues men’s souls unceasingly through the bright shining of the day and through the untold dark... |
•GUNG HAY FAT CHOY! - Hits (179) |
| ... THE ROOSTER!It’s time to dance with Dragons, bang on the drums, light those fancy firecrackers (left over from Halloween), crack open the fortune cookies, and let’s have a bash – ‘cause the "Rooster’s" back in town!For those of you who haven’t got a clue what’s going on, the party animals are... |
•Lighten Up At Work - Hits (178) |
| ... putting in all those hours on the job? Have fun, giggle, andmake life easier for yourself and the people you spend a lot of timewith.Laughter works because it increases blood circulation, feeds oxygen tothe brain, pumps out hormones that aid alertness, and releasespain-killing endorphins.... |
•A Silent Night — Not At My House - Hits (178) |
| ... before. I’m not against noise. Personally, I try to make as much noise as possible. I’m just against noise not orchestrated with my sleeping habits. And at this juncture of my career, sleeping has become a habit. In fact, I might describe it as an addiction. I tried breaking this... |
•Malice In “I Wonder Who I Am” Land - Hits (177) |
| ... in my person. I don’t know about anyone else, but I take pride in my personal mettle. About two months ago my credit card company informed me somebody hacked into their records and stole my identity, along with approximately one million other customers. They went on to assure me that... |
•The day my computer died - Hits (172) |
| ... faith in humanity. Human beings are flawed, imperfect creatures. I say this in a positive way because if humanity were completely positive and perfect we would have nothing to learn, and life would lose its vitality and mystery. Computers come from the same universal reality as humanity, so... |
•Wild, Wild Westerns - Hits (171) |
| ... an empty space between two buildings known as a lot, could easily film outside. It was a cheap and effective way to involve audiences in wild chase scenes involving pure heroes like the white clad Tom Mix going after dastardly villains. One time a theater was showing a Western, when the... |
•Dead-to-the-World Man Walking - Hits (170) |
| ... in my body. For example, I now find myself walking in my sleep. This is a new experience for me and I'm not sure what it means or what I should do about it. On the positive side, walking in my sleep is about the only exercise I really get these days, so I should not complain too much. It is... |
•A roommate story too strange to make up - Hits (169) |
| ... includes utilities. Well, no shit, I'm going to go for it. All I have to do is find two roommates. Well I met some dude (we will refer to him as CrazyBones) in a class the semester before. He seemed a little off, but overall we got along and we had been in touch that summer and coincidently he... |
•A Faux Pas Is A Mistake In A Tuxedo - Hits (162) |
| ... long established hobby has earned me a membership in the POP (People Observing People) Culture. The rules specify that each member must swear not to divulge anything observed.Being a minister, I'm not allowed to swear, so I am exempted from this rule.I love to get a nice hot cup of... |
•THE MERITS OF MISCHIEVOUS MIND-CANDY - Hits (161) |
| ... for words any more which is bad news for slow-of-mind folk (like me).I have no “to-do” list and I don’t own a “Blackberry”. Furthermore, I have no need for “power naps” and I don't do “power lunches” (unless I'm wearing my tiara, holding my sceptre and handing out titles to members of the... |
•Dog Poo ( Turd Tales ) - Hits (156) |
| ... an international incident. Unknown person or persons have been sticking little US flags into piles of doggie poo for over a year now. Surprisingly the dog poo brigade has managed to target between 2,000 to 3,000 abandoned piles of excrement in Bayreuth public parks. Quite who actually... |
•Normally We Do … But Not Today - Hits (155) |
| ... and grandchildren being there as well. The prospects of the week were simply delightful. I believe with all the children and grandchildren, along with two sons-in-law and one daughter-in-law, there were 13 people in this mountain log cabin. Although there were many wonderful activities... |
•A true roommate story-psyco surfer - Hits (154) |
| ... on an aisle, he was in the middle). On the ten hour flight, he had me put something in or take something out of the overhead for him at least fifteen or twenty times. He just wouldn't leave me alone, and was constantly begging me to change seats with him, and grab a pen, and put this card in... |
•Mindfulness and Laughter: Gaining Clarity While Giggling - Hits (154) |
| ... while giggling.Sure, there are times when it is considered inappropriate to laugh, but if we're honest, we'll see that if we're suppressing a smile it's a sign that we're fully present. Not only that, but these are times when we could most use a little laughter to bring levity to an... |
•IT'S FUNKY FEBRUARY! - Hits (153) |
| ... happy?Because it's festive, flirtatious and frolicking February of course -- ahem ...the shortest month of the year. So find yourself some frisky fortune cookies and have fun!!Merry-making males better beware, because who knows when all those feisty females will cash in their "frequent flubber"... |
•WORDS NEVER HEARD IN THE WORKPLACE - Hits (151) |
| ... or digest over a morning latte with a dab of whipped cream and chocolate sprinkles on top.The never-ending drive to increase profits means employees everywhere must hunker down with their noses to the grindstone or else hustle their bustles out the door every day in search of new business.So,... |
•Make a wish on Titan and send it to your friends - Hits (150) |
| ... and it might be the sign of civilization having existed on the planet. Bob Rowntree received this URL link (http://www.uuswap.com/ecard_titan.php) from her girl friend on MSN this morning. When he felt suspicious about the trueness of the source, with an accidental click on the picture, Dave... |
•In My House, If It's Broken I Bought It - Hits (148) |
| ... through my house. "If it's broken, I bought it." This is not to say everything in my house is broken, but to point out that everything has a breaking point. And, it's not to say I can't fix anything. I just can't fix anything that is broken.A case in point; my easy chair.A man's easy chair,... |
•How To Have An Argument With Yourself And Win - Hits (146) |
| ... not yet learned in life. My hope is, of course, to shorten this list drastically. Presently, I want to zero in on one thing I have learned, which has stood me in good stead for many years; how to have an argument with yourself and win.I once thought I could argue with my Significant Other and... |
•IN 2005 CONTROL IS A REMOTE POSSIBILITY - Hits (144) |
| ... any trouble in paradise these days; I wouldn't know if there was trouble, anyway. Nevertheless, I think my relationship to her could improve 100 percent — which needs a foolproof plan. Being a certified fool, all I need is a plan.Back in October, the folks at the church we serve sent my... |
•Procrastination Emancipation - Hits (140) |
| ... "It's not too late to have your presents arrive on time." Somebody's been procrastinating - either Bill Gates or me (maybe I didn't refresh my browser). Or maybe my computer is trying to give me the hint to stop procrastinating and set about the task of writing this newsletter. Nah... Bill... |
•What Whine Goes With Cooked Goose? - Hits (139) |
| ... Don't hate me because I'm thoughtful.I must admit to a certain aura of preoccupation at times. However, it is not as severe as the Gracious Mistress of the Parsonage seems to think. I just have many things on my mind and at times, I am not fully conscious of my immediate surroundings.I... |
•3 Surefire Ways to Combat Rising Gas Prices - Hits (136) |
| ... But at least it keeps you from rumbling about the infrequency of my columnsand articles. Nonetheless, I have decided to try to help you get through this crisis by generously providing: 3 Ways to Combat Rising Gas Prices!1. Don't Drive Your CarThis is, of course, the most obvious solution.If you... |
•Queen Shopper for a Day - Hits (135) |
| ... It felt like Spring had arrived! So, I (this person who vowed to never experience the outdoors until winter had passed) decided to briefly enjoy the weather and took off for a quick shopping spree; dressed in apparent Spring apparel, as I like to plan ahead. Of course, all was decently warm, as... |
•YOUR HAIKU ERROR MESSAGES FOR THE DAY - Hits (132) |
| ... their publication, or a link back to the author's blog at (www.quippingqueen.blogspot.com). WORD COUNT: 577While many disparage the advent of glitches in our wired world, the only way to find solace and sanity is to return to the ancient teachings."Haiku", (a Japanese style of poetry), offers... |
•Trust - A poetic investigation, not hampered by commitee status. - Hits (120) |
| ... it wont matter,And will never make the news.We are all for truth,For transparancy not lies,So we can face our youth,With honesty in our eyes,So many believe the rhetoric,And persuade themselves its true,Little knowing its a set up trick,to delude in all they do.Its your right to protest,And... |
•Tribute to Delores - Hits (119) |
| ... your mouth. Good girl. I understand completely. Why, the mere thought of the “Suit Ritual” used to send me running to the pantry for a container of Betty Crocker’s Rich & Creamy Frosting. Of course, that was before I knew how to buy a bathing suit.Bathing suit shopping doesn’t need to be... |
•In Hollywood As In Life You Never Reach The Top - Hits (117) |
| ... is always someone who makes more than you. John Travolta was invited to Robin William's birthday party in Northern California. He arrived there in his Lear Jet and was greeted by a cigar smoking Steven Spielberg, who had suggested he take the Michael role in the first place, and his wife... |
•Save on Gas Prices - Hits (114) |
| ... to 65 Characters per LineWord Count: 426 wordsCategory: Humor, GeneralCopyright Date: 2004*Article Use Guidelines*This article may be used freely in opt-inpublications and websites, provided thatthe resource box is included and the linksare active.Please forward a... |
•Have PC-Will Crash - Hits (110) |
| ... other, much funnier, article on my PC and if all had gone well you would be reading that article instead of this one. But unfortunately for you, as always happens right when I'm in the middle of something very important, my PC crashed.Actually, I don't think the term crash correctly defines what... |
•What's So Real About Reality TV? - Hits (110) |
| ... as its redeeming grace. They mention the documentaries they watch all the time...which explains why The Feeding Habits of the Gray-haired Stork broke all Nielsen ratings records last month.They mention the news programs they watch nightly...which explains why they have "intellectual"... |
•Wild Casting - Hits (110) |
| ... as Robin Hood in 1938? A contract dispute caused Warner Bros. to drop him and hire Errol Flynn instead. Do you know that Margaret Mitchell wanted Groucho Marx to play Rhett Butler in Gone With The Wind (1939)? But perhaps the wildest casting choice in the History of Hollywood involved The... |
•Chinese Horoscope - Hits (109) |
| ... GOOD FORTUNE IN THE CHINESE NEW YEAR FOLLOW THE INSTRUCTIONS - DO NOT CHEAT OR IT WON'T WORK AND YOU WILL WISH YOU HADN`T. TAKE 3 MINUTES TRY THIS - IT WILL FREAK YOU OUT. THE PERSON WHO SENT THIS TO ME SAID HER WISH CAME TRUE 10 MINUTES AFTER SHE FORWARDED THE EMAIL NO CHEATING !!!! THIS GAME... |
•Star Maps - Hits (107) |
| ... Sitting in his swimming pool, Oliver Hardy would welcome fans who climbed over his fence. "Hey, How about a dip?" In the earliest days, Charlie Chaplin and Douglas Fairbanks would drive up next to people with star maps and ask them for directions. And more recently, television producer Aaron... |
•THE JOY OF JELLY BEANS - Hits (104) |
| ... these days are "Type B" personalities.Type Bs are, by definition, not "Type A" personalities. No one could mistake them for a fault-finding flibbertygibbet or a fastidious fusspot. And, you'll never find them pushing the "Up" button feverishly on a high-speed elevator going nowhere. There... |
•Patch - a Scottish Collie - Hits (104) |
| ... way back into the mists of time, by which, for the curious and the literal, I mean the sixties. The first dog I can remember as a toddler was called Bonzo (yes, well, I told you it was a long time ago and I think it was probably quite a fashionable name at the time). He was a mutt, no doubt... |
•IN A BUSY WORLD WE STILL NEED TO TAKE TIME TO LAUGH - Hits (103) |
| ... up in homes anymore. They are growing up in terminals.In reality, the American family does not need a home. We are born in a hospital, educated in a college, courted in an automobile and married in a church.We get our food at the delicatessen and restaurant. We spend our mornings at golf,... |
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