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Moving forward Separation Success 101





So, you've separated. The relationship is over. Now what? How does an individual move on in a healthy way? Breakups are surely not easy, whatever the scenario, but there are methods to reduce your suffering.

-- Allow yourself time to heal.

No matter how committed you are to moving on, you need to allow yourself time to mourn the relationship. Whether you had been the one who parted or your partner was, separations happen to be painful. Adjustments must be made as well as emotions processed, and this naturally will take time.

Sometimes individuals make the mistake of trying to bury their own difficult feelings, but by doing this they are attempting to bypass the healing process completely. Naturally no one likes to feel miserable. We want to feel better as quickly as possible. However, the only effective way to feel better is to face your feelings directly.

Allow yourself to feel hurt, depressed, angry, confused, and all the other emotions that so often go along with breakups. If you permit yourself to feel these things now, you're not as likely to have those feelings resurface in the future when you're least expecting it.

-- Form some sort of support network

You've gone from sharing a day-to-day part of your life with another person to being single once again. For lots of people, this is just about the hardest of changes. You may feel alone, but in all probability you're surely not. Now may well be the time to contact your friends and family members for emotional support. Speak to them when you need someone to speak to. Invite some over when you need to laugh, cry, get your mind off these issues, get out of your home, vent, and do whatever other activity you have to do.

-- Get out and about

As much as you might like to shut the world out from time to time, you have to get away from home and be social as well. Get out with family, some of your good friends and also others from your dependable support circle.

If you really do not have such a circle, then it is now time to work towards acquiring one.

Get involved in some new hobbies or activities and also meet some new people. Instead of thinking about the separation being a entire loss, try looking at it from a different view. You have been given the opportunity now to devote time to other things, making new friends, acquiring new skills, developing newpastimes and focusing on yourself.

-- Move things all around you

You're starting a new chapter in your life, and a good way to remind yourself of this is simply by rearranging your furniture. Change the positioning of a chair, your bed, a table. Move a photo or hang a new one. Create these types of adjustments to your home and things may feel different in a fresher, newer way.

-- Give back

You might be going through a particularly rough time right at this moment, but why don't you put things in perspective a little bit, do some volunteer work, or have a go at a charity. It feels great to do things for others, particularly those who are really in need.

Think about types of activities you could get involved with. If you like animals, you could potentially volunteer at a pet shelter. If you're a person of faith, you can get involved in charity work done by your place of worship. There are plenty of different alternatives, but it's important to choose something which is meaningful to you yourself. You will certainly feel fantastic after supporting, AND it will help to put your loss into perspective.

Above all, give yourself time to make the adjustments needed, time to process your emotions, and time to bounce back. No need to be harsh with yourself and you'll find yourself moving forward into a better day.

About Author Peter James Field :

Peter Field is a British hypno-psychotherapist and a Member of the British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy. Please visit his <a href="http://www.peterfieldhypnotherapy.co.uk" target="_blank">Hypnotherapy in Birmingham</a> site for more information. His international best selling <a href="http://www.chiofchange.com" target="_blank">book on hypnotherapy</a> 'The Chi of Change' is now available from Amazon and other good book sellers.


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Article Added on Sunday, January 11, 2015
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