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The Wise Psychology of Accepting





Sooner or later we have to face the truth that we live in a world that is, in many ways, imperfect and unjust.

We will need to come to terms with this if we are to live life with emotional and psychological stability.

We may set out on our journey with the highest intentions, believing we really can change the world--and, indeed, each one of us can change the world, though only some of us will--but we will never change the way that life is.

Life will continue to be life, despite our desires and remonstrations. It is under no obligation to be fair, it does not have to be just, and it does not have to always make sense. All it has to do is all that it can do: It has to be itself.

In the wise words of Lao Tzu, founder of Taoism, what we have to do is 'let reality be reality'. This is true, also, as it applies to each of us: We must allow ourselves to be ourselves. Finding out who that self is, or more accurately who those selves are - because each person is a composite of many different aspects - is a large part of becoming authentic, of becoming real.

When we understand and accept this, when we stop demanding that life be something other than it is and that we be something other than we are, then we stop swimming against the current, and our journey through life becomes so much easier.

There are times when we have to trim our sails and plot a course that leads to the shores of compromise. We may not like this, but then again there is no 'Great Law' that says we have to like everything in existence. The trick, of course, lies in knowing when to compromise and when not to.

When a thing cannot be changed, it is pointless to keep on banging our head against it.

The fortunate ones among us find the serenity to accept the things that we cannot change, the courage to change the things that we can, and the wisdom to know the difference, to paraphrase Reinhold Niebuhr's Serenity Prayer, so wisely adopted by AA and other Twelve Step groups.

As long as we do our very best, then we will have done all we can--even if, at times, the best we can manage to do is to keep our head above the water and keep right on breathing.

Our feet will always find secure land provided we do not abandon hope. Who knows how many others we might one day help because of our own difficult experiences?

Although we may not see it as we are going through it, nothing need ever really be wasted. Everything has its own value. Our real solutions, like so many of our problems, lie within. We need to work from the inside out, not from the outside in, to bring about true change and restore an inner balance that will endure.

As a hypnotherapist, I believe that modern hypnotherapy provides the most effective way to do this that there is.

About Author Peter James Field :

Peter Field's new book on hypnotherapy 'The Chi of Change' is published by Psyche Books.


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Article Added on Tuesday, May 20, 2014
LD
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