•Everything's All Right in the Middle East
Everything's All Right in the Middle East by Robert LevinCan we, just for a minute, dispense with the hand-wringing and acknowledge that the problem Israel and the Palestinians have with one another is actually their mutual solution to the problem of being mortal? Of course to understand what I mean it is first necessary to recognize that it's not love or sex or money that makes the world go around but the fact of death; that what drives virtually everything we believe and do is the need to...
•Free Jazz: The Jazz Revolution of the '60s
REVISED AND EXPANDED HERE, THIS PIECE ORIGINATED AS AN "ORAL ESSAY" FOR THE COSMOETICA OMNIVERSICA INTERVIEW SERIES
More or less officially unveiled with the first New York appearance of the Ornette Coleman Quartet at the Five Spot Café in the fall of 1959, free jazz (or new black music, space music, new thing, anti-jazz or abstract jazz as it would variously be labeled), gave new dimension to the perennial "where's the melody?" complaint against jazz.
For most of the uninitiated, what the...
•On Turning Sixty
On Turning Sixty by Robert Levin Although it's brought me that much closer to transforming into worm food, I've found that turning sixty is not without its compensations. While it's true, for example, that my member isn't getting a proper supply of blood anymore—and that I can no longer write my name in the sand and must settle for my initials—I can still have lots of fun with it. Thanks to a prostate gland the Museum of Humongous Prostate Glands has already put in a bid for when I buy the...
•Peggie
Peggie by Robert LevinDuring my twenties and thirties it was my goal to have sex with every physical type of woman on the planet. I’d prefer not to hear any stuff about this. I was proceeding from the belief that by sleeping with a representative of every kind of female body, and every category of appearance I would, in effect, come to know all women and that such an accomplishment would be good for my writing. Okay? Of course, even to gather only samples from what, you realize when you get...
•Recycle THIS!
Recycle THIS! by Robert LevinRecycle THISby Robert LevinEarlier today I received a notice advising me that the recycling program in my neighborhood has been “rebooted” and that I will henceforth risk “serious fines” if I fail to sort and, in the case of jars and bottles, RINSE my garbage before leaving it out. I hate to come off as a bad sport, but I’ve got to tell you: In all these years I’ve never once sorted or rinsed my garbage and there’s no way I’m going to start now. I mean, what...
•Redefining Insurance Fraud: On Managed Care
Redefining Insurance Fraud: On Managed Care by Robert Levin Want to hear MY definitions of "insurance fraud”? I'll tell you anyway. Insurance fraud is when an HMO sells you a policy at an exorbitant rate and then finds all manner of ways to frustrate your pursuit of benefits. Insurance fraud is when an HMO impedes access to procedures and specialists by requiring further "review" or "investigation.” Insurance fraud is when an HMO denies coverage for pre-existing conditions. Insurance fraud...
•Schindler's List: A Fecal Matter
Schindler's List: A Fecal Matter by Robert Levin (The following was written in 1993.)Recently, when a visiting friend wanted to rent it, I saw "Schindler’s List" again. I can report that a second viewing of Ralph Fiennes’ portrayal of the concentration camp commandant Amon Goeth yields even more layers and subtleties. But Fiennes notwithstanding, I have to say that, for me, watching "Schindler’s List" has now twice been a vexing experience.What irritates me about "Schindler’s List" is that...
•Stupidity: Its Uses & Abuses
Stupidity: Its Uses & Abuses by Robert LevinIt’s time to take punitive action against an insidious and rapidly proliferating menace to our emotional well being. I’m speaking, of course, of "service industry" people who are embracing the dumbing down craze too enthusiastically and who, doubtless incapable of even masturbating by themselves any more, regularly perpetrate nerve-rattling, mood-curdling, faculty-numbing and spirit-withering indignities against us.Let me hasten to say that I value...
•Waiting For The Cut
Waiting For The Cut by Robert Levin After "Waiting For Godot."Two men, STEVE and HAROLD, both in their early twenties, and with long hair styles, are standing outside a small hair cutting salon on a sweltering August afternoon. The salon is closed. STEVE, after offering a cigarette to HAROLD—who waves it off—lights one himself and begins to pace.STEVE: [Checking his watch.] I hate fucking Brooklyn. HAROLD: [Wipes his face with a balled-up handkerchief.] Brooklyn? I don’t know about...
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