•12 Reasons to Develop Exceptional People Skills
12 Reasons to Develop Exceptional People Skills
by: Peter Murphy
Why should you bother to spend your valuable time learning how to develop exceptional people skills?
Here's why...
Look at the people who seem to have it all - a great job, an active social life and a happy family life. What do these people have in common?
They all have excellent communication skills.
To join the people at the top and to live a more fulfilling and enjoyable life there is no alternative but to...
•14 Reasons To Get Motivated And Stay Motivated
14 Reasons To Get Motivated And Stay Motivated
by: Peter Murphy
Why should you bother to spend your valuable time to learn how to get motivated and stay motivated?
Here´s why.
Your quality of life will change dramatically when you take charge of how motivated you feel in any given moment.
Family and friends will respect you more and see you in a whole new light. And deadline frenzy will be a thing of the past.
There are several good reasons to learn the secrets to getting motivated...
•3 Easy Steps to Low Stress Communication
3 Easy Steps to Low Stress Communication
by: Peter Murphy
Life is all about choices. And so is the way you communicate. You can fill your days with frustrating high stress communication or you can have days of low stress effective communication with your peers.
Now take a moment to learn three ways to have low stress communication.
1. Recognize Positive Intentions
When someone you are talking to is unkind, negative or downright rude it is easy to get annoyed, angry and even...
•3 Keys to Making Small Talk Easy to Do
3 Keys to Making Small Talk Easy to Do
by: Peter Murphy
Small talk used to be really hard work for me. I never knew what to say and I always worried about saying the wrong thing.
Then something awful happened to me....
I had to take a job dealing with the public. My worst fears came true and I had to make small talk with a whole range of people each and every day.
I found it difficult, tedious and nerve wracking.
Eventually after a lot of trial and error I got the hang of it. And...
•3 Secrets to Developing Superior People Skills
3 Secrets to Developing Superior People Skills
by: Peter Murphy
1. If What You Are Doing Is Not Working Change Your Approach
When I was in school I always had a small group of close friends but I never found it easy meeting new people. By the time I reluctantly entered the work force it was clear that my communication skills were limiting my progress.
The fact that I was as capable or even more capable than my peers meant little when I was unable to create a favorable impression.
I...
•4 Quick, Easy Ways to Say No to People Who Take You for Granted
4 Quick, Easy Ways to Say No to People Who Take You for Granted
by: Peter Murphy
No matter how wonderful you are sometimes other people will try to take advantage of your good nature. They will push you, get you to do more than your fair share and keep asking you to do even more.
And worst of all -- often your efforts will be taken for granted. Unless you can say No, the situation will not change in fact it may get even more difficult.
That is unless you can say No to these unreasonable...
•4 Ways To Avoid Looking Stupid When Making Small Talk
4 Ways To Avoid Looking Stupid When Making Small Talk
by: Peter Murphy
The fear of saying something silly and feeling embarrassed stops many of us from contributing more to discussions at work and when we are relaxing with friends.
And ironically the more we worry about it, the more tense we get and the more likely we are to say something stupid.
Let us a take a look at some remedies:
1. Learn to relax when you feel under pressure.
I often talk about the importance of managing your...
•7 Tips For Lasting Motivation And Greater Success
7 Tips For Lasting Motivation And Greater Success
by: Peter Murphy
Lasting motivation is possible once you adopt an outlook that allows you to be more successful. Here are seven tips you can use today to overcome procrastination and start achieving much more.
1. Success is not achieved accidentally. It is a systematic, deliberate process of deciding what you want to do with your life, what you will do when you get there, and what the steps are to get you where you want to be.
One of the...
•7 Ways To Make a Great First Impression
7 Ways To Make a Great First Impression
by: Peter Murphy
When you have an important event to attend there are 7 great ways to make sure you perform at your very best. These tips are relevant for social events and business meetings. Discover how to communicate with confidence while making great conversation.
1. Decide what you want to say before the event. Review it in your mind to make sure it sounds okay. Keep rehearsing it until you can say it with conviction and confidence.
2. Consider...
•Communication Expert reveals 5 keys to self expression without limits
Communication Expert reveals 5 keys to self expression without limits by Peter MurphyPeter Murphy recently interviewed communication expert John Barker.John is a professional coach and author with a Bachelor of Arts degree in Communication Arts and Sciences. He even served in the White House where he worked with the White House Communications Agency.They discussed communication and uncovered some valuable insights that people can immediately apply to make measurable improvements in their...
•Creating Icebergs Out Of Hostility
Creating Icebergs Out Of Hostility by Peter Murphy*Have you ever dreaded an upcoming presentation, meeting orfunction because you just knew that the group would be hostile*Maybe you had heard that these people are very critical, evenaggressive.*How can you prepare for such a situation even though you wouldprefer to disappear into thin air.*1 Use Adversity To Make You StrongerVery often we make our greatest breakthroughs in the face of hugechallenges. We improve our performance overnight...
•Dealing with Mr.Charisma
Dealing with Mr.Charisma by Peter MurphyDo you ever find yourself in situations where you feeloverwhelmed by the person who is speaking to you. It is as iftheir charisma and enthusiasm takes over and you just cannot seemto think for yourself. For a moment you are lost in a blur oftheir words.The worst part is the fact that you cannot seem to regaincomposure or even assert your own opinion. What is the solution?How to assert yourself in the face of a wave of charisma:1 Break RapportWhat? Yes,...
•Dealing With Negative People Made Easy
Dealing With Negative People Made Easy
by: Peter Murphy
I was playing tennis today with one of my tennis buddies. We play once a week and we usually chat about work, professional tennis players and local news.
Today he was very negative about the people of the area we live in. According to him they are all thieves and crooks.
Now this makes me really angry when I hear him talking like this since I have had very positive experiences with the people I have dealt with locally. I find the...
•Do You Make These Common Mistakes When Talking to People?
Do You Make These Common Mistakes When Talking to People?
by: Peter Murphy
Many moons ago. Talking to people was something I avoided where possible.
At the time, I did not know I was unconsciously setting myself up for failure. I kept making the same mistakes without even noticing what I was doing wrong.
You may be doing the same thing.
Here are three common mistakes together with tips on how to deal with them:
1. Judging Your Performance Against Unrealistic Standards
Be honest...
•Ezine Promotion, The Three Forgotten Tactics
Ezine Promotion, The Three Forgotten Tactics by Peter MurphyIf you are like most ezine publishers you want more ideas that work. But hold on a minute what about all the key strategies thatyou have overlooked?1 Teamwork:Hook up with a fellow publisher who does not compete directlywith you. I do this to find out what really works. Share ideas and results. Brainstorm even by email and you will discover new ways to promote your newsletter that you will not have spotted before. You could save...
•Feeling Self-Conscious? 6 Tips to Turn it Around Fast!
Feeling Self-Conscious? 6 Tips to Turn it Around Fast!
by: Peter Murphy
When you feel self-conscious it means you are putting too much attention on your self, too much focus on what you are doing and how you are doing it. And this is a formula for poor performance.
The secret then to dealing with this problem is to become other conscious.
If all you do is shift your focus from self to others you will communicate better, perform better and become a far better listener.
Another positive...
•First Impressions – turn fear into courage
First Impressions – turn fear into courage by Peter MurphyThe top business people all say the same thing – first impressionscount. Sounds easy, and it is easy for those few who can start a conversation with just about anyone but how many people do you knowwho are like that?On the other hand when you’re shy it’s easy to avoid other people, shyness automatically comes with a PhD in how to creatively avoidpeople, especially strangers! However this tendency can provedetrimental to your business...
•Four Common Rapport Building Mistakes and How to Fix Them
Four Common Rapport Building Mistakes and How to Fix Them
by: Peter Murphy
1. Pretending You Are Interested When You Are Not
Do yourself a favor and be honest with yourself and the people you spend time with. If you are really not interested in the topic of conversation say so.
If possible change the subject or simply postpone that particular conversation until another time.
Obviously if there is a danger of offending the other person you will have to be less direct. In these...
•Getting What You Want Most From Other People
Getting What You Want Most From Other People by Peter Murphy Very often in relationships we do not seem to beable to get the one thing we want more thananything else - the approval of other people.In fact the more we want it the more difficultit can be to turn the situation around.Typical approaches include withdrawing fromother people so that only those who are reallyinterested in you will make the effort to getto know you. The other person takes on all therisk of rejection and you risk not...
•Happy Talk and 3 Simple Secrets to Happiness
Happy Talk and 3 Simple Secrets to Happiness
by: Peter Murphy
What is the one thing you want more than anything else for the people you love the most? If you had a magic wand what would you grant your family and friends? What is it that everyone wants?
To be happy!
How can you make other people happy until you are happy? How can you be happy?
Lester Levenson, creator of The Sedona Method, discovered the key to happiness. He searched for 47 years and nearly died in the process but he...
•How to Achieve More by Dealing with Resistance
How to Achieve More by Dealing with Resistance
by: Peter Murphy
Today I want to discuss the missing link in goal attainment...
Your personal success and achievement depends on your ability to act upon what you know. Yet this is where most people stumble.
It is easy to find out what to do. Simply ask the right people for advice, read the best books on the subject and attend the seminars that will fill in the missing details.
It is following through on what you know that makes the...
•How To Deal With People Who Dislike You
How To Deal With People Who Dislike You
by: Peter Murphy
When you read books on personal development and articles about making your life better the emphasis is generally on the positive.
You learn all about deciding what you want and how to get it. However you also need specific guidelines for dealing with situations when nothing seems to be working despite your best efforts.
One of the hardest things to deal with is the fact that some people will dislike you no matter how wonderful you...
•How to Get Motivated and Have Industrial Strength Self-Motivation
How to Get Motivated and Have Industrial Strength Self-Motivation
by: Peter Murphy
It is not your fault if popular self-help courses have never worked for you over the long term.
How to get motivated is not adequately dealt with.
Why?
Because generally speaking there are problems with the material you have read and listened to in these courses:
To appeal to a wider audience the self-help experts often leave out the more complex and the more powerful concepts and techniques - the...
•How to Give Yourself a Motivational Warm Up When You Wake Up
How to Give Yourself a Motivational Warm Up When You Wake Up
by: Peter Murphy
Question:
What is the worst thing you can do when you start your day?
Answer:
Wake up feeling lethargic and expect yourself to perform at 100% from the moment you get up in the morning; and then compare how you are doing during the day against this unrealistic benchmark.
There is a better way!
As you wake up in the morning take charge of your thoughts in that early morning awareness before you fully...
•How to Kill Fear When Dealing with Aggressive People
How to Kill Fear When Dealing with Aggressive People
by: Peter Murphy
The book Feel The Fear And Do It Anyway by Susan Jeffers is regarded as a self help classic. Have you read it?
I read it many years ago and I was disappointed by the content of this book that has helped a lot of people take control of their fears. Why? Because I believe we all have the power to go far beyond feeling the fear.
And I really think it is important to learn how to transform fear into courage by learning...
•How to Quickly and Easily Deal With Rude People
How to Quickly and Easily Deal With Rude People
by: Peter Murphy
Where I live there seems to be a a growing population of rude and vulgar people. And no matter how hard I wish for things to change it is not going to happen. It is up to me to change how I think and feel about these people. The same applies for you.
1. What does it mean when someone is rude?
Your initial angry reaction may be to think the person is a moron but that only makes matters worse as it will comes across in the...
•How to Solve Disputes with the Helicopter Talk Technique
How to Solve Disputes with the Helicopter Talk Technique
by: Peter Murphy
Do you ever find that when a friend asks for your opinion on a problem it is a lot easier for you to see a solution than it is for your friend?
And do you also find that sometimes you feel completely stuck when it comes to your own problems?
The same applies to disputes, relationship issues and disagreements.
When you are part of the problem it can be very difficult to see a solution. What you need at times like...
•How to Stay Motivated Despite Negative People
How to Stay Motivated Despite Negative People
by: Peter Murphy
Getting motivated is sometimes easy enough to do, at least for short periods of time, but staying motivated can be a lot harder to do.
And when you add into the mix the presence of negative people it is really not surprising that your motivation can fizzle out despite your best intentions.
What can you do?
1. Do Not Discuss Your Dreams with Negative People
Only share your hopes, dreams and goals with people who will be...
•How to Talk to Yourself When Nobody is Listening and You Want to
How to Talk to Yourself When Nobody is Listening and You Want to
by: Peter Murphy
Do you ever pay attention to the thoughts inside your mind? And more importantly do you ever notice the way in which you talk to yourself?
We all pay a lot of attention to the way we communicate with the outside world but we often neglect to improve the way we communicate with ourselves.
When it comes to motivating yourself to be a better person, to do better at work or to create a happier family life you...
•How to Tune In Your Brain & Feel Confident with People in Moments
How to Tune In Your Brain & Feel Confident with People in Moments
by: Peter Murphy
One day when I was in school, many years ago, the school principal wandered into our class room, sat down and started to talk.
He talked and talked; and there was nothing we could do to stop him seeing as how he was in charge!
For once he actually said something that interested me and I never forgot what he said. Not because he was so original but because he was the first person I heard saying it.
That...
•How to Turn Around A Sinking Conversation - 7 Tips
How to Turn Around A Sinking Conversation - 7 Tips
by: Peter Murphy
When a conversation is not working out there is the potential for massive frustration or a breakthrough depending on how you look at it.
1. Question your assumptions about the other person
Perhaps the breakdown in communication is based on rumors that have no basis in reality. You may be unfairly judging the other person and filtering every word he speaks because of a false image of who he really is.
Have you ever...
•How to Use Discouragement to Motivate Yourself
How to Use Discouragement to Motivate Yourself
by: Peter Murphy
Ever feel like giving up? Do you ever feel so discouraged that even one more day of frustration will be too much too handle?
Everyone gets discouraged at times only there are a number of key differences between people who keep on going and those who give up:
1 Focus On Your Goal Not On Your Problems
One of my mentors is a highly successful property developer and he loves solving problems. All day long he can take on one...
•How You Developed Bad Habits That Rob You Of Motivation
How You Developed Bad Habits That Rob You Of Motivation
by: Peter Murphy
Bad habits rob you of your motivation.
Today I want to tell you why I decided I absolutely had to take charge of my self-motivation. And why you must do the same.
As you read this article you will start to understand why a lack of motivation is costing you even more than you realize.
Growing up I never really had much trouble getting things done. I was told what to do by my parents or by my teachers and I did...
•Instant Relaxation Anytime Anywhere
Instant Relaxation Anytime Anywhere
by: Peter Murphy
If there was a way of relaxing quickly and easily in any situation would you want to know what it is?
Ancient cultures knew this secret, and followers of Hawaiian Huna used it to access altered states. In more recent times martial artists used it as a way to develop relaxed alertness, and today photoreaders use it to relax before reading books at speeds of 25,000 words per minute.
What is the secret? It has to do with how you use your...
•Letting Go Of Wanting Your Own Approval
Letting Go Of Wanting Your Own Approval by Peter Murphy It is easy to see how important it is to be approved by thosepeople who matter most to you in your life. Family and friendsare the ones you turn to first in a time of crisis. You count onthem for support and encouragement and their approval of who youare and what you do is deeply significant.Ever had a time in your life when those closest to youdisapproved of your behavior? It is very uncomfortable is it not?In a moment, peace of mind...
•Leverage Avoidance Values for Irresistible Selling
Leverage Avoidance Values for Irresistible Selling by Peter MurphyThe most gifted influencers know that to be highly persuasivethey must appeal to the values of the person they are speakingto.What are values? Values are filters that everyone uses to helpmake sense of all the information we must process before we makea decision. When you appeal to a person's values you speakdirectly to their decision-making criteria.Values:In simple terms, values are what is most important to us. If youask...
•Mind Your Mind
Mind Your Mind by Peter MurphyAffirmations are often suggested as a means of changing how youfeel and yet many people use them and get very little benefitfrom all the time spent repeating a short positive phrase. Youcan use this approach to prepare for a business or socialsituation where you usually feel tense, shy or unsure of yourselfbut only if you supercharge your affirmations.Three Secrets to Effective Affirmations:1 Drive your Physiology - by this I mean get yourself into adynamic...
•Reframing Rejection
Reframing Rejection by Peter Murphy Fear of rejection is one of the greatest fears shared by allhuman beings. Nobody wants to feel left out, unwanted or unliked.And at the same time what we really want is to be loved andaccepted by everyone - that would be bliss. It will never happenthough because we all have biases,opinions and beliefs that colorthe way we look at the world.So people will reject us no matter how good we look, no matterhow successful we are, and no matter how giving we are....
•Release Resistance and Accomplish your Goals
Release Resistance and Accomplish your Goals by Peter MurphyDo you ever feel like no matter how hard you try you justcannot seem to make significant progress? You learn somenew skills and are excited about using them only you neverseem to get around to applying what you learned. No matterwhat you do your life is like driving uphill with the handbrakeon!What you are experiencing is resistance, one of the biggestbarriers to creating your life the way you want it to be.Resistance happens when...
•Say Adios to the Fear of Rejection!
Say Adios to the Fear of Rejection!
by: Peter Murphy
Do you ever get an uncomfortable feeling in your stomach when you have to approach someone?
In situations like this does your mind go blank?
This is not unusual. That feeling is often the fear of rejection.
When you feel afraid your emotions take over, you feel tense and your ability to think logically vanishes into thin air.
And that is why you can talk to close friends without a care in the world but never know what to say when...
•Small Steps And Golden Stones
Small Steps And Golden Stones by Peter MurphyIt was a long walk but someone had to do it. And today it was upto Tori to carry the water from the river, through the fieldsand across the valley, back to the camp.He set out early before sunrise so that he could do his workbefore the heat of the day became too much. Very soon he wasstanding by the side of the river. He knelt down and cupped theflowing water into his hands.It felt great. So refreshing, cool and alive as it flowed throughhis...
•That First Step To Massive Success
That First Step To Massive Success
by: Peter Murphy
Do you ever procrastinate? So do I!
I had some work to do yesterday and I kept putting it off.
I thought to my self - I´ll wait until later when I feel more alert and in the right frame of mind to do it just right
Do you ever do this?
Then it hit me like a ton of bricks. If I wait for the perfect moment I will be waiting a very long time.
With that in mind I just got started. I took the pressure off and stopped insisting that I...
•That One Thing That Guarantees Your Unlimited Motivation And Success
That One Thing That Guarantees Your Unlimited Motivation And Success
by: Peter Murphy
What can you do when you do not feel like getting started? When procrastination takes over...
We all know what that feels like. You sit there staring at the mountain of work in front of you while your mind screens a horror movie of toil and effort.
I am sure you have tried making a list of things to do but the problem is the longer the list the harder it is to get started.
Well, listen I have a very...
•The 3 Steps To Communication Mastery
The 3 Steps To Communication Mastery by Peter MurphyYou limit yourself. Yes, it is true. Each day you behave in much the same way as you have always done. You act out your habitual ways of dealing with people, and you communicate as well or as badly as you normally do. Although you know better, you do not apply all that you have learned when it comes to making the most of yourself. If this istrue for you, then how are you going to improve?Awareness is key. Until you spot what you are doing...
•The 4 Secrets to Communication Magic
The 4 Secrets to Communication Magic
by Peter Murphy
1 Listen effectively
How many people do you know who truly listen to every word you say? Think about the people you enjoy being with the most. Isn't it true they really pay close attention to you when you have something important to say?
It's a shame but very few people care enough to really listen attentively to the people in their life. They get so busy and caught up in their own problems that they are rarely completely present for...
•The Amazing Secret To Ridding Yourself Of Self Consciousness
The Amazing Secret To Ridding Yourself Of Self Consciousness
by: Peter Murphy
One of the biggest challenges to developing superior communication skills is that you already have your hands full in those situations where you need help. Take a typical scenario - meeting new people.
If I give you tips for listening more effectively and you rush off to practice the tips you may not get very far no matter how hard you try. Why? Because you are likely to be self conscious when you need to be...
•The Mirror Man
The Mirror Man by Peter MurphyLady Twilight felt angry. It was one of those days when she wasdoing her best to be nice to everyone but nobody was being niceto her.What if people could be friendlier she thought to herself as shewandered through the open air market. It was a warm, sunny day sothere was no use blaming the weather. In that case it must meanthat people just do not like me, she decided.The chatter of voices was all around while she sat at a table bythe side of the shopping crowd....
•The Secret To Life Long Success And Fulfillment
The Secret To Life Long Success And Fulfillment
by: Peter Murphy
What Makes the Difference?
On a warm spring afternoon, fifteen years ago, two young men graduated from the same college. They were similar in many ways...
Like most ambitious, hard working students they had also enjoyed time off to play sport and to have fun with their friends. And they were both very excited about the bright future that lay ahead.
Fifteen years later they met.
They were still alike in many ways. Both...
•The Self Appreciation Enhancer
The Self Appreciation Enhancer by Peter MurphyDo you like receiving compliments? So do I! And when someone doespay you a compliment do you enjoy that wonderful glow that only comes with feeling appreciated and valued by another person?Very often when you are talking to people what you really want deep down is to feel significant, liked and important. Consequently you watch what you are saying and are careful not tosay the wrong thing. This in turn can mean that the way you express yourself...
•Three Great Ways to Deal with Negative People
Three Great Ways to Deal with Negative People
by: Peter Murphy
1. Do not believe everything you hear!
With close friends and family it is not unusual to think that you ought to take onboard everything you hear. However do not confuse caring with knowing.
Just because someone is concerned for your welfare does not mean that their advice or input has value. For example, I know a lot about peak performance. I do not know much about car maintenance.
If I ever offer you advice on...
•Three Secret Keys to Persuasion Magic
Three Secret Keys to Persuasion Magic by Peter MurphyEffective persuasion is more a case of pressing the right buttonsthan most people realize. If you could learn to be even morepersuasive than you already are imagine the difference that wouldmake to the quality of your life. Consider for a moment thedifference it would make to your confidence and to how otherpeople treat you if you could count on always being able toexpress your self in a way that causes people to really payattention to...
•What People Are Really Interested In & How to Win Friends
What People Are Really Interested In & How to Win Friends
by: Peter Murphy
A lot of your people problems and concerns about what other people think will fade into the background when you understand one crucial reality.
Most people are interested in you only to the extent they can get something from you.
I know this sounds harsh. Bear with me a moment while I explain.
Apart from your family and closest friends most other people see you as either a hindrance or as a means to getting...
•Where You Want To Be
Where You Want To Be by Peter MurphyBarry was on the phone in his office, speaking with confidence,energy and passion.In his office were a number of removal men working quickly movingfurniture out the door to the van parked outside. Before long theoffice was bare except for some old files, a cracked pictureframe and a parched plant.Just then a tall man in a dark suit entered the building with aswagger. He found Barry still on the phone, standing in a cornerof the empty office. His voice...
•Why Pacing and Leading is for Wimps!
Why Pacing and Leading is for Wimps!
by: Peter Murphy
Okay, you have read some books on body language and they all said you must mirror and match, pace and lead....
And you failed miserably when you went out into the real world.
Let me tell you why and what you need to do instead. But first a story that illustrates my point...
A few years ago I moved into a very well paid position in the company where I worked. And in my new job I was dealing with company directors, business owners...
•You Can Quickly And Easily Solve Your Problems
You Can Quickly And Easily Solve Your Problems
by: Peter Murphy
Today I just wanted to write you a quick note to encourage you. Why? Because even as you are doing your best to be motivated there will be days when it all seems too much.
No matter how challenging life gets bear in mind the following three points and you can solve any problem you face.
1. Your problems are not personal
Most of our problems can be solved right away once we learn the correct strategy. Theories might help...
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